What Do Parties and Black Holes Have In Common?

I've been partying for the past couple of weeks. Sounds like fun doesn't it. Partying brings up images of good times, friends, conversations, good food, socializing and all round happy times, doesn't it? Well, not this kind of partying. This was more of a pity party. Pity parties and black holes share one thing in common. They take and take and never give back.

I've been sitting at home feeling kind of sorry for myself. I actually told my husband I felt a bit like Job (you know, Job from the Bible, who lost everything). He laughed. Okay, I had to admit, it wasn't quite that bad. Job lost all his children and all his worldly possessions and then his friends and his health. And his wife wasn't much help either. She told him to curse God and die. My life hasn't been that bad.

But one of those negative little voices just got to me over the past couple of weeks niggling at me and when I saw the neurologist last week, that was like the straw that broke the camel's back.

All the things that I have "lost", or "can't do" or had to "give up" because of my migaines has started to weigh on me and drag me down some.

1. I stopped working. (Okay, I didn't mind that one too much)
2. I can't really drive the car much, or ride in it very far.
3. Traveling is out. Makes the migraines worse.
4. Socializing is practically zero.
5. I contribute almost nothing at home.
6. I'm almost never at church except when it's my turn to run the slides for the service.
7. I keep missing my turn to run the slides for the service so I've been feeling like, well then, why bother? (Keep in mind, this is something I love to do)
8. I'm not feeling any better than I was a year ago.
9. The neurologist said I had to give up coffee even though it helps reduce the headaches.
10. I have to give up a whole bunch of other foods that give me a lot of pleasure and restrict my diet such that it makes it nearly impossible to eat out at a restaurant or even friend's homes. I even have to bring my own teabags so I have something to drink!

I know it sounds like I am complaining, but I decided I needed to write it down, so I could face it, stop feeling sorry for myself, and stop grieving over it and carry on. I realize that if I keep thinking about all the negatives about it, this party will just continue, and keep sucking me in like a big black hole and never let me go.

My daughter is such a blessing. She is always trying to encourage me and reminded me that it's really not as bad as all that. Even when I feel bad, I just have to find something small and thank God for it - even when I don't feel very thankful for it. Because when I do thank Him for it, whatever that small thing is, somehow He changes us, and we become thankful. (I think I told her that one time....)

If God can take you to it 

Then God will take you through it